Does anybody over 16 really look forward to Valentine's Day?
Do overpriced roses really say, "I love you"?
Does a Hallmark card that costs more than a gallon of milk really make up for bad behavior?
If the Grinch stole Christmas, then I'm happy to be the Vrinch who stole Valentine's Day. And I'm not alone in my dislike for this made-up day. (Festivus, anyone?)
KAREN: The tone for all my future Valentine's Days was set when I was 23 and dating a guy I was really in love with. He told me he had made reservations for us at a fancy French restaurant. We got there and the maitre d' said there was no reservation in our name.
But he was able to squeeze a small table into a smaller space between the men's room and the kitchen. It was so close to the former, I could literally hear the toilets flush!
We ordered our dinner and a bottle of wine. The waiter came back after 15 minutes to tell us they were out of everything we ordered and only had one appetizer - escargots — snails! They also only had one entre — coq au vin — chicken. I don't eat snails and chicken was not my idea of a fancy dinner, but oh, well.
We didn't know much about wine, but we were suspicious when it came already open and tasted like vinegar. We were too intimidated to send it back and barely touched it.
Over dessert — chocolate mousse with skin on it suspiciously like my mother's chocolate pudding made from a Jell-O mix — my boyfriend broke up with me. When the check came, he said he left his wallet at home, and I got stuck paying the bill.
On my way out of the restaurant, I twisted my ankle and broke the heel of one of my favorite shoes.
Since then, my favorite Valentine's Days are spent alone with a few DVDs, a good bottle of wine and a giant bowl of popcorn.
JAYCEE: My divorce was final on Valentine's Day. HARVEY: The best course of action for Valentine's Day is to ignore and treat it like any other day of the week. It's fake, commercialized and way too overloaded with ridiculous expectations of "romance" that are overpriced and generally meaningless once the day is over.
Not to mention that, for the most part, it's entirely one-sided in favor of women. Men are expected to empty their wallets for presents, meals, hotel rooms and possibly even travel. All women are expected to do is take advantage of it, perhaps complain that it wasn't as "romantic" as they had hoped, and then wait a year for a hopefully even more expensive repeat.
The end result is that the price of everything associated with the day is jacked up, restaurants are overcrowded and cycle people through as fast as possible. Regardless of what a man does, it's never adequate.
Finally, I don't know anybody who has ever had sex on Valentine's Day. Apparently, women don't want to "ruin" such an event by getting their hair and makeup all messy.
Practical people swing by Costco for some discount flowers (not roses), pop a rib roast in the oven and call it good enough.
And how have your Valentine's Days been? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. To find out more about Cheryl Lavin, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com.
COPYRIGHT 2012 CREATORS.COM
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9 Comments | Post Comment
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My husband and I do celebrate Valentines day, but nothing over the top. If I were to let him out of it, he'd stop in a heart beat. If I had my way, we'd celebrate a little more, but, we had an open, honest conversation about what each of us wanted out of Valentines Day. I wanted a little more celebration, he didn't want to celebrate it at all, we compromised with exchanging cards and a small gift (nothing over 20 dollars) and I make a nice meal at home (I enjoy cooking).
How we handle Valentines Day is indicative of how we handle a lot of issues in our relationship; we both talk about what we expect in a calm, nonjudgmental manner and are willing to compromise. Here's a real Valentines Day gift to your significant other: check your temper and judgement at the door, be willing to compromise and talk about what you really want out of Valentines Day.
Comment: #1
Posted by: Shannon
Sun Feb 5, 2012 6:58 AM
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I think this year we'll skip the rib roast and do spaghetti. Still doing the Costco flowers and chocolate.
Comment: #2
Posted by: "Hank"
Sun Feb 5, 2012 8:23 AM
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@HARVEY - Wow, you seem pretty resentful that you MUST show some appreciation for the woman in your life. It is not ALL about women on Valentine's as I know many women who go out of their way to make it special for their guy. But, apparently, it is up to HER to cook you a roast, while you to shoot for "adequate" and not even reach that. Sounds like he is getting what he deserves. And I have NEVER heard of a woman turning down sex on Valentine's so she doesn't mess up her hair an makeup. I suspect you expect to have sex all day long or before dinner when she is all ready to go. Most women do not worry about their hair and makeup when they have finished their evening.
Comment: #3
Posted by: Julie
Sun Feb 5, 2012 8:56 AM
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Yeah, I LIKE Valentine's Day... and consider it a time to celebrate love of all kinds -- parents, sibs, kids, and friends as well as spouses.
Comment: #4
Posted by: hedgehog
Sun Feb 5, 2012 10:03 AM
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Valentine's Day is a holiday like any other. If you want to celebrate it, do so. If you don't want to, don't. But don't assume that it's meaningless just because some people are phony about celebrating it. Couples who are insincere on Valentine's Day, like the ones who are sincere about it, can be the same way any other day of the year.
I used to have a problem with Valentine's Day, but not because I didn't like the holiday. I was single for a long time, and didn't do a lot of dating. It made me sad to see the cards, flowers and boxes of chocolates on sale, and know that I didn't have someone special to give me anything.
But now I'm happily married to a wonderful man, who always gives me some flowers and maybe some candy on Valentine's Day. More importantly, he's a good husband and father the rest of the year, too. So I consider myself a very fortunate woman.
@Harvey,
You say you 'don't know of anyone who has had sex on Valentine's Day'? How would you know? Do you have surveillance cameras set up in everyone's bedroom? Sheesh.
Comment: #5
Posted by: JMG
Sun Feb 5, 2012 11:27 AM
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Valentine's Day is a day to feel cherished. I'm happy with a card, or a little candy, or flowers, and this year, we're eating out, which we don't do very often anymore.
When I was working, I loved getting flowers at the office. The women would all come to see them and the men would stand around, wondering what was going on. When I explained how it made me feel--to have my husband express his love for me so openly like that, one man said I'd given him an idea--he'd have flowers delivered while he and his wife (a SAHM) were at a restaurant.
Anybody remember the episode of "The Office," where Pam was still engaged to the warehouse guy? (Roy?) All day long on Valentine's Day, she watched other people getting flowers and cards. When she said something to Roy, he looked at her and told her that he hadn't given her anything, because later he was going to give her "the best sex you ever had."
I absolutely wanted to slap that horrible grin off his face, stomp him, revive him with cold water, and then stomp him again. What a jerk! I was glad when she kicked him to the curb.
Comment: #6
Posted by: Joannakathryn
Sun Feb 5, 2012 11:37 AM
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Valentine's day is a day for both my husband and I. We'll go out for a nice dinner, which I'll probably pay for because we both work and our arrangement is that I pay for food (we have an equitable split of bills based on our incomes) and we will enjoy each others company. We do things for each other all year and while he will probably get me flowers and I will get him a card cause he likes getting cards it will not be much more then the rest of the year. And we have a great regular sex life and we'll either have sex on valentine's day or decide we're tired and have sex the next day, either one is great. Harvey, please choose higher quality women and don't expect sex because you spent some money. If she likes you and you are a giving lover she'll look forward to sex, and any woman that doesn't want to mess up her hair and makeup also has to wash her hair. Read into that what you will.
Comment: #7
Posted by: Kim
Sun Feb 5, 2012 6:29 PM
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Marriage/relationships are like an empty bowl; it will remain empty unless you put more into it than you take out. Although it is possible to give without loving, you cannot love without giving. Valentine's Day is about giving. Giving does not have to be about things. You can give the gift of yourself which is priceless. For the people that are Bah Humbug over Valentine's Day, maybe you need an attitude adjustment to put you in a more positive light. Probably explains why you sound bitter and alone!
Comment: #8
Posted by: SUNRISE
Tue Feb 7, 2012 11:42 AM
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Harvey: YOU AIN'T WRONG!!!
Comment: #9
Posted by: Mickey
Tue Feb 7, 2012 8:51 PM
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